How to Regulate Your Nervous System & Feel in Control—No Matter What Life Throws at You
Ever felt like life slammed you into the fast lane with no brakes? One minute you’re calm, and the next you’re spiraling—overthinking, anxious, reactive, shut down, or just plain exhausted.
This is your nervous system calling for support. And here's the good news:
You can learn to regulate your nervous system. You can feel safe, grounded, and in control—no matter what’s going on around you.
In this post, we’re diving into science-backed tools, daily rituals, and power questions that help you shift from chaos to calm, freeze to flow, and panic to peace.
🧠 First, What Is Nervous System Regulation?
Your nervous system is your body’s command center. It controls your ability to respond to stress and return to balance. It has two main states:
Sympathetic (fight or flight) – You’re alert, activated, maybe anxious or panicked.
Parasympathetic (rest and digest) – You’re calm, grounded, present.
Regulation is your ability to shift between these states in a healthy, flexible way—without getting stuck in one mode for too long.
🧬 The Science: Why It Matters
Studies in polyvagal theory (thank you, Dr. Stephen Porges) show that when your vagus nerve is toned and responsive, your body feels safe enough to relax, connect, and heal.
When it’s not? You can feel constantly on edge, emotionally numb, or burnt out.
💡 Nervous system dysregulation is linked to anxiety, depression, trauma responses, gut issues, immune disorders, and chronic pain.
That’s why regulation is not just "nice to have"—it's non-negotiable for healing and thriving.
1. Breathwork for Balance
Try: Box Breathing (4-4-4-4)
Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4.
Repeat for 1-3 minutes.
🧠 Why it works: Activates your parasympathetic system and reduces cortisol.
or just simply tuning into your breath and slowing it the heck down-yes slow it down and let it flow. For some people holding the breath may be too much so slowing it down can help regulate and find flow in the body and tension peels away.
2. Cold Water Splash or Shower
Even just a face splash of cold water can reset your vagus nerve.
🧠 Science says: Cold exposure increases vagal tone and helps you become more stress-resilient.
I like to put a cold flannel on my collar bone, throat and back of my neck which is where the vagus nerve is threaded and can really soothe this area.
3. Somatic Grounding Techniques
Try:
Press your feet into the floor and say, “I am here now.”
Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly, and breathe slowly.
💡 This reminds your body it’s safe in this moment.
4. Movement: Shake It Off
Trauma and stress live in the body. Shaking, dancing, walking—these help discharge stuck energy.
🧠 Research from Peter Levine’s work (Somatic Experiencing) shows movement is key for completing stress cycles.
5. Nervous System Nourishment: Slow Mornings
Create a calm container to start your day: no phone, light stretching, warm drink, intention setting.
This tells your nervous system: "Today, we’re safe."
🧠 Power Questions to Rewire Your Response
Sometimes you need to interrupt the mental spiral before your body follows.
Try asking:
“What do I need right now to feel safe?”
“Is this a real threat—or a familiar pattern?”
“What’s true in this moment?”
“Can I be with this sensation for just 60 seconds?”
“What would I say to a friend feeling this way?”
🧠 These questions create a cognitive pause—a pattern interrupt that gives your prefrontal cortex (the rational brain) a chance to come online and settle.
🔄 Create Your Regulation Toolkit
Here’s a simple formula to build your own go-to routine:
Body – Breath, cold water, or movement, grounding in the earth
Mind – Ask a power question or journal for 5 minutes
Nervous System – Do something that feels SAFE to you in that moment-do you even know what helps you to feel safe? Create a safety list :-)
❤️ Final Reminder
Healing happens in small, repeated moments of safety.
Regulation isn’t about being calm all the time.
It’s about learning to return home to yourself—over and over again.
Big love
Ange x
